Fobcabjip is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, humorless wyvern.

Fobcabjip created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobcabjip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fobcabjip, it will send you a sign.

Fobcabjip's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Fobcabjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near capybaras while wearing red skirts and balancing seven platinum spheres on your neck.

2. Fobcabjip loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Learn six new languages a year.