Bassmifrill is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, temperamental lobster.

Bassmifrill created energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassmifrill, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bassmifrill, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Bassmifrill's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Bassmifrill's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine capybaras approach from the east.

2. Do not take Bassmifrill's name in vain.

3. Never think about fluid mechanics.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near dogs while wearing magenta coats and balancing five copper spheres on your face.