Capfigdutnilnilflappop is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, duplicitous human.

Capfigdutnilnilflappop created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capfigdutnilnilflappop, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Capfigdutnilnilflappop, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Capfigdutnilnilflappop's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Capfigdutnilnilflappop's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four snails approach from the west.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always look after injured capybaras.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.