Sitgungud Banwabbid is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unfair gerbil.

Sitgungud Banwabbid created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Sitgungud Banwabbid, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sitgungud Banwabbid, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Sitgungud Banwabbid's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sitgungud Banwabbid's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.