Govyartster is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, generous scorpion.

Govyartster created the planet Venus five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Govyartster, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Govyartster, she will destroy your home planet.

Govyartster's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Govyartster's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about special relativity.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Govyartster.