Mobxempad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, staggering fish.

Mobxempad created light four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mobxempad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mobxempad, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Mobxempad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Mobxempad's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat turnips.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.

5. Do not cook food in pots.