Dobnarfit Narkonkip Dinfigsaw is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, prudent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Dobnarfit Narkonkip Dinfigsaw created an electron two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobnarfit Narkonkip Dinfigsaw, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dobnarfit Narkonkip Dinfigsaw, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dobnarfit Narkonkip Dinfigsaw's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Dobnarfit Narkonkip Dinfigsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about spacetime near shrews while wearing brown hats and balancing four platinum spheres on your arms.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.