Tindobraw is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful faun.

Tindobraw created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tindobraw, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tindobraw, it will turn you into a goat.

Tindobraw's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Tindobraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tindobraw's priests.

2. Never skip near aardvarks.

3. Never mention sheep.

4. Retreat if three mice approach from the north.

5. Never feed figs to sharks while wearing pink dresses.