Giltonkkop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, omnipotent goblin.

Giltonkkop created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Giltonkkop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Giltonkkop, she will think nothing of it.

Giltonkkop's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Giltonkkop's Holy Commandments

1. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

2. You must never eat cherries.

3. Never write about chromosomes.

4. Never think about optics near eagles while wearing red coats and balancing eight zinc spheres on your chest.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.