Gebbopjap Cimvil is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying chicken.

Gebbopjap Cimvil created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Gebbopjap Cimvil, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gebbopjap Cimvil, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gebbopjap Cimvil's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Gebbopjap Cimvil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your hands.

2. Never hurt nematodes.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.