Yamflatcip is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, stupid swallow.

Yamflatcip created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Yamflatcip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yamflatcip, she will jump up and down on your head.

Yamflatcip's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Yamflatcip's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not keep seven sheep in a large pit.

5. Do not wear violet clothing.