Hotyimvon is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, slow camel.

Hotyimvon created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotyimvon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hotyimvon, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hotyimvon's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Hotyimvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Never look at stars.

3. Worship no other gods but Hotyimvon.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Do not covet oxen.