Koplanbinbif is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring chinchilla.

Koplanbinbif created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Koplanbinbif, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Koplanbinbif, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Koplanbinbif's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Koplanbinbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not take Koplanbinbif's name in vain.

3. Do not wear white clothing.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near badgers while wearing brown tights and balancing seven iron spheres on your hands.

5. Do not shave your arms.