Cebgedsid is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, loving penguin.

Cebgedsid created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cebgedsid, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cebgedsid, he will turn you into a rock.

Cebgedsid's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Cebgedsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Retreat if seven squirrels approach from the north.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.