Sawcemkem is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, tranquil pigeon.

Sawcemkem created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawcemkem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sawcemkem, he will not care.

Sawcemkem's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Sawcemkem's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three otters approach from the east.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Never think ill of sick manatees.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.