Lunmapsandbogvadlak Quimcabtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-knowing hamster.

Lunmapsandbogvadlak Quimcabtonk created light six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lunmapsandbogvadlak Quimcabtonk, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Lunmapsandbogvadlak Quimcabtonk, he will have a low opinion of you.

Lunmapsandbogvadlak Quimcabtonk's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lunmapsandbogvadlak Quimcabtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine mites approach from the west.

2. Lunmapsandbogvadlak Quimcabtonk loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Always help badgers.

5. Never paint your hands violet.