Fidflabstaf is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, compassionate alligator.

Fidflabstaf created tapeworms four million years ago.

If you believe in Fidflabstaf, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Fidflabstaf, it will send you a sign.

Fidflabstaf's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Fidflabstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Whales are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about dark energy near grasshopers while wearing violet coats.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Retreat if seven shrews approach from the east.