Rigkadrul is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, dishonest giraffe.

Rigkadrul created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rigkadrul, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Rigkadrul, he will destroy your home planet.

Rigkadrul's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Rigkadrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near shrews while wearing red jumpers and balancing seven gold spheres on your legs.

2. Never feed wheat to foxes while wearing mauve kilts.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not shave your chest.