Tomrilhasbess is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, fast lobster.

Tomrilhasbess created the planet Saturn three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tomrilhasbess, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tomrilhasbess, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tomrilhasbess' most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Tomrilhasbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Always help bats.

5. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.