Nigsteryikwigyarlfunortfab Fosscuncan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, witless bee.

Nigsteryikwigyarlfunortfab Fosscuncan created the planet Earth nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nigsteryikwigyarlfunortfab Fosscuncan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nigsteryikwigyarlfunortfab Fosscuncan, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nigsteryikwigyarlfunortfab Fosscuncan's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Nigsteryikwigyarlfunortfab Fosscuncan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never eat onions.

3. Never laugh near snakes.

4. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near ants while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your legs.