Hitbestkan is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate tortoise.

Hitbestkan created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitbestkan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hitbestkan, it will destroy your home solar system.

Hitbestkan's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Hitbestkan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six porpoises in a large pit.

2. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

3. Always help capybaras.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Never talk about comets.