Tarlamtom is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthoughtful capybara.

Tarlamtom created the solar system five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarlamtom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tarlamtom, he will turn you into a snail.

Tarlamtom's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Tarlamtom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not kill snakes.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.