Pakontjon is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring naga.

Pakontjon created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pakontjon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pakontjon, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Pakontjon's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pakontjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime.

2. Do not hurt goats.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.