Vanbinteenyogmigyar is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, wise goblin.

Vanbinteenyogmigyar created a charm quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanbinteenyogmigyar, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vanbinteenyogmigyar, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vanbinteenyogmigyar's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Vanbinteenyogmigyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Vanbinteenyogmigyar in the centre of the settlement.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.