Pigcitmat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, intelligent fish.

Pigcitmat created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigcitmat, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pigcitmat, she will destroy your home solar system.

Pigcitmat's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Pigcitmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Never hurt tortoises.

4. Never write about archaea.

5. Never feed carrots to capybaras while wearing fawn boots.