Timgen is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, awesome naga.

Timgen created dark energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Timgen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Timgen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Timgen's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Timgen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Timgen.

2. Always help birds in need.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.