Hadvilbissxuck is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, fast donkey.

Hadvilbissxuck created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadvilbissxuck, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hadvilbissxuck, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hadvilbissxuck's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Hadvilbissxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Never paint your arms blue.