Mattarwab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, witty pigeon.

Mattarwab created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Mattarwab, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Mattarwab, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Mattarwab's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Mattarwab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention mice.

2. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Mattarwab on top of important buildings.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away from blue squirrels, for they are unholy.