Hadsafshav is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonest whale.

Hadsafshav created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hadsafshav, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hadsafshav, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Hadsafshav's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hadsafshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at moons.

2. Never feed carrots to monkeys while wearing orange skirts.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

5. Pray towards the west.