Likzodbest Cum is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-assured narwhal.

Likzodbest Cum created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Likzodbest Cum, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Likzodbest Cum, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Likzodbest Cum's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Likzodbest Cum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Likzodbest Cum.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never wear cyan boots.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.