Dunquaffab is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, temperamental cow.

Dunquaffab created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dunquaffab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dunquaffab, he will turn you into a rat.

Dunquaffab's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dunquaffab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect three carbon sculptures of Dunquaffab on top of important buildings.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Dunquaffab on top of all buildings.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.