Yarptuntom is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage zebra.

Yarptuntom created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarptuntom, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarptuntom, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yarptuntom's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Yarptuntom's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarptuntom.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a large tin sculpture of Yarptuntom on top of all buildings.

4. You must love Yarptuntom.

5. Erect eight copper sculptures of Yarptuntom on top of important buildings.