Yarcep is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, moody goat.

Yarcep created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarcep, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yarcep, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yarcep's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Yarcep's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always help doves.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Yarcep on top of all buildings.