Gupzendit is a god.

It takes the form of a large, idiotic gorilla.

Gupzendit created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupzendit, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gupzendit, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gupzendit's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gupzendit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Never feed lots of nuts to capybaras while wearing mauve corsets.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Gupzendit in the centre of the settlement.