Damhas Tencimhivwod is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless mongoose.

Damhas Tencimhivwod created the universe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damhas Tencimhivwod, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Damhas Tencimhivwod, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Damhas Tencimhivwod's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Damhas Tencimhivwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat wheat.

2. Never feed limes to geese while wearing violet hats.

3. You must never eat cucumbers.

4. Always help sick frogs.

5. You must pray to Damhas Tencimhivwod eight times a day.