Largcanvegtamfigtig is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unjust gnu.

Largcanvegtamfigtig created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Largcanvegtamfigtig, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Largcanvegtamfigtig, he will turn you into a plant.

Largcanvegtamfigtig's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Largcanvegtamfigtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep four gulls in a large pit.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. You must love Largcanvegtamfigtig.

5. Always look after injured frogs.