Govbambet Karmadtap is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, thoughtless cow.

Govbambet Karmadtap created energy two years ago.

If you believe in Govbambet Karmadtap, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Govbambet Karmadtap, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Govbambet Karmadtap's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Govbambet Karmadtap's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never write about quantum gravity.

5. Never paint your neck white.