Tikgemven Fumkipartlad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, temperamental chinchilla.

Tikgemven Fumkipartlad created dark energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tikgemven Fumkipartlad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tikgemven Fumkipartlad, it will turn you into a duck.

Tikgemven Fumkipartlad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tikgemven Fumkipartlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Never think about dark matter.

4. Erect seven iron sculptures of Tikgemven Fumkipartlad on top of important buildings.

5. Porpoises are unholy and should not be approached.