Omtafcubwadjathaknigcum Tigbarnvad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, generous coyote.

Omtafcubwadjathaknigcum Tigbarnvad created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtafcubwadjathaknigcum Tigbarnvad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Omtafcubwadjathaknigcum Tigbarnvad, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Omtafcubwadjathaknigcum Tigbarnvad's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Omtafcubwadjathaknigcum Tigbarnvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into cyan rooms.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Erect eight silver sculptures of Omtafcubwadjathaknigcum Tigbarnvad on top of important buildings.