Tailweexuc is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, temperamental cow.

Tailweexuc created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Tailweexuc, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tailweexuc, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Tailweexuc's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tailweexuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never go into magenta rooms.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Tailweexuc loves dogs, so they must be respected.