Vinhog is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy swan.

Vinhog created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vinhog, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vinhog, she will turn you into a duck.

Vinhog's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Vinhog's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must never eat grapes.

3. Do not take Vinhog's name in vain.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.