Bomquimwatartgensigcan Donbossdussjam is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, ill-tempered fairy.

Bomquimwatartgensigcan Donbossdussjam created snails eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bomquimwatartgensigcan Donbossdussjam, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bomquimwatartgensigcan Donbossdussjam, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bomquimwatartgensigcan Donbossdussjam's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Bomquimwatartgensigcan Donbossdussjam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not leap in public.

2. You must pray to Bomquimwatartgensigcan Donbossdussjam seven times a day.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not commit murder.