Flamfomcen is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, compassionate yak.

Flamfomcen created the Sunflower Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flamfomcen, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flamfomcen, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Flamfomcen's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flamfomcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing orange jumpers and balancing eight tin spheres on your neck.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate otters.

4. Never leap in the presence of voles.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.