Camarntaf is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, competent tapir.

Camarntaf created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Camarntaf, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Camarntaf, she will be very sad.

Camarntaf's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Camarntaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near moths while wearing white kilts.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always wear blue.

4. Never think about amino acids.

5. You must love Camarntaf.