Wabnelkan is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, impressive squirrel.

Wabnelkan created an up quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Wabnelkan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Wabnelkan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Wabnelkan's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wabnelkan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Do not take Wabnelkan's name in vain.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never talk about tapirs.