Mapcandin is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sage gorilla.

Mapcandin created the planet Earth nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mapcandin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mapcandin, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Mapcandin's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Mapcandin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from purple frogs for they are unholy.

2. Mapcandin loves goats, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect three nickel sculptures of Mapcandin on top of important buildings.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Mapcandin loves capybaras, so they must be respected.