Tikjamsaf Gathugyarkip Wonstannel is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, clever dingo.

Tikjamsaf Gathugyarkip Wonstannel created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikjamsaf Gathugyarkip Wonstannel, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tikjamsaf Gathugyarkip Wonstannel, she will not invite you to parties.

Tikjamsaf Gathugyarkip Wonstannel's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Tikjamsaf Gathugyarkip Wonstannel's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear black boots.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about planets.