Ceptettikik is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, moody dingo.

Ceptettikik created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Ceptettikik, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ceptettikik, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Ceptettikik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Ceptettikik's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat manatees with great respect.

2. Always help porpoises in need.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Ceptettikik.

4. Never feed figs to turtles while wearing brown dresses.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.