Begbenciss is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous faun.

Begbenciss created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Begbenciss, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Begbenciss, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Begbenciss' most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Begbenciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in red rooms.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never sing near moths.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

5. Fast once a month.