Japdotpod is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, bad-tempered snake.

Japdotpod created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japdotpod, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Japdotpod, she will turn you into a dog.

Japdotpod's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Japdotpod's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue porpoises, for they are unholy.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never feed pineapples to geese while wearing brown boots.

4. Eagles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always pray immersed in water.